Sidestepping Shadows
by GothicaWaywardAngels94
Summary: Gabriel has a problem... no matter how hard he tries to get away from his shadows they seem to follow him around. No matter how much he tries to run from Michael, he just can't... AU, Debriel, one sided Michael/Gabriel, read and reveiw... a bit dark, contains abuse
1. Favorite Brother

**Head's up: This is a purely Deanne fic, meaning it's has very little fluff and dark themes of abuse, rape incest (not the good kind of incest either) suicidal attempts and angst, lots and lots of angst.**

**Slash Warning! ;-0 You've been warned!**

**DISCLAIMER: KRIPKE OWNS! I just like to mess with other people's stuff.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Favourite Brother**

At this very moment I am pretty sure something's wrong with me. Here I was, sitting on a bed with a guy I'm absolutely crazy about and telling him that I'm not ready to take the next step in our relationship.

"Come on, we've been going out for four months now, this is insane…" he muttered, sitting up and away from me.

I sat up and stared out of the window, the usual excuse escaping my lips:

"I'm just… I just want to take it slow, Dean." I said, regretting it the moment it came out.

"I know, and I respect that." He said, running a hand through his hair.

"So, what now?" I asked, pulling a snickers bar from my pocket.

Dean gave a laugh, and pulled me into a hug.

"I don't know… some Street Fighter, possibly?" he said, with that pleased smile on his face.

I was thankful the day I met Dean Winchester. He gave me another reason to not run away from home… what I had for a home, anyway. He and my little brother are the only two things that I hold dear and actually make my life worth living.

After Dean whooped my ass at the video game twice and rubbed it in my face repeatedly, and we made out for a while – I left to pick up my baby brother from school and went home, praying that Michael was already home and hopefully sober.

* * *

"Assbutt!" I heard Castiel squeal as he spilled his drink on the carpet.

"What?" I laughed, staring at him incredulously.

"Assbutt… Balthazar told me that it was an okay word to say, it's bad, isn't it?" he said, a little panicky.

Of course, Balthazar was his best friend. The little rugrat moved from England last year and stuck to Cas like glue since then. He was kind of a bad influence on little Cas, but he was his only friend, so I had no complaints.

"Assbutt… it's… fine, I guess." I replied. "Just… don't say it around Michael."

"Okay." He nodded as he cleaned up the mess.

We sat on the floor and watched a scary movie marathon, and I had to listen to my ten year old brother point out the bad plot, terrible effects and worse acting in all the movies. By twelve he had fallen asleep and I sat there, contently drifting off as well, until there was a pounding on the door.

"Gabe, open the damn door, I forgot my key!" I heard Michael slur as he pounded on the door.

I sighed, swallowing unnecessarily as I got up to open the door. He beat me to it though, somehow magically remembering the key we hid 'inconspicuously' in the flower pot.

"Come on, Cassy, up the stairs," I said, as I woke Cas rather roughly and sent him to bed.

I went off too, not wanting to be in the way of a drunken older brother.

As I closed my door I could feel someone opening it forcefully, and could see the twisted look on Michael's face. I sat on the bed with my back turned as he stood by the door.

"I brought you Red Vines." He said, and I felt the weight on the bed shift.

"What am I, five?" I scoffed, as I inched away from him.

Silence.

The sound of chuckling followed that, dark, amused chuckling, and I closed my eyes as I felt his weight leave the bed.

"So, I heard you've been fooling around with that loser, Dean Winchester." He said, standing in front of me and kneeling to my level.

"What's it to you?" I retorted, smelling the stench of alcohol on his clothes.

"He's not good enough for you Gabe." He stated simply. "He's a mechanic, a high school dropout, a reject."

I refused to make eye contact with him; he pulled my face up to his.

"No one is good enough for you." He said, something resembling fondness in his eyes.

Then, like clockwork, my brother pulled me into a chaste kiss, cold and harsh and unfeeling. He pushed me down to lie on the bed and climbed on top of me, like clockwork. I closed my eyes – always closed my eyes when he did this, I always imagined that it wasn't my oldest brother, it was some old pervert that looked eerily liked Michael Novak.

"Did you sleep with him?" he whispered in my ear.

I lay there silently, stiffly, not answering him. I knew what would make it worse; I knew how to deal with this by now. I shook my head slowly, giving an affirmative 'no'.

"I want to hear you say it, tell me that bastard did not touch you." He growled in my ear.

"He… I didn't sleep with him." I said, truthfully.

"Tell me you won't see him again and that you don't feel anything for him." He said, whispering and kissing behind my ear.

"I…" that was a lie. I have done many things, but I refused to lie to myself, I refused to lie about what I felt for Dean. So I improvised.

"I love you, Michael. I always have and I always will. No one is going to change that." I said, softly, shaking as he gripped my forearms.

"I know," he whispered. "You, me and Castiel, we're a family."

He kissed me again and left the room. That was odd… very odd.

"Wh-where are you going?" I asked, breath caught in my throat.

"To Castiel's room, since you insist on defying me." He said.

At that moment it was if I had an outer body experience. I couldn't feel myself move toward him, but when I collected my wits I had fastened on to his arms.

"No, Michael, stay with me please. I won't see him again, I swear to you." I pleaded.

"Not enough, Gabriel." he said. "I think you know how you can prove that you mean it."

I knew exactly what he wanted me to do. It was like this recently, him using Cas to get me to submit, me begging him to go nowhere near Cas.

"Can you close the door, at least? I don't want any disturbances." I said.

And with that a wicked, twisted, sadistic smile appeared on his face. He closed the door and put his back to it, arms crossed and casual. I felt sick to my stomach, as I dropped to my knees and watched as he unzipped his slacks. This was the part I hated the most, the part I wanted to bleach from my mind.

"Good boy," he commented as I took the head of his cock in my mouth.

"Oh, this is why I love you, Gabriel," he moaned "This is why you're my favourite brother"

**So... Review, comment or hate it to peices**


	2. I'm Okay Not Okay

**Disclaimer: It ain't mine**

**I'm Okay (Not Okay)**

I stared at the ceiling of my room for a while, trying to block out what had just happened, what I just did. I looked back to my left, to see Michael there, sleeping beside me. My breath stopped as he shifted closer to wrap his arm around me, and I could feel the bile rise to my mouth. I got up, slowly, carefully, and headed to the bathroom where I promptly puked as quietly as I could. I came out of the bathroom and went to Cas' room, where he shifted over and made room for me.

"You okay?" he asked, sleepily.

"Yeah, I just… had a nightmare, that's all." I replied, softly, broken.

"Dude, I don't even have nightmares anymore. What was it about?" he asked.

"Calculus." I replied. "Go back to sleep, we've got an early morning tomorrow."

Saturday was the best day of the week for me. It was the only day I was sure I wouldn't see Michael for at least 24 hours. This Saturday though, was different, this Saturday I couldn't see the one person I would look forward to spending time with – Dean.

Or maybe I would, maybe he would drive around the corner and come for a visit. Tough chance, Dean hated Michael and he hated the neighbourhood. That's one of the reasons why I liked him so much, I guess, because he was nothing like Michael.

"Gabe, what's for breakfast?" Castiel asked as I stood over the stove.

"Oatmeal and a fruit salad for you, Lucky Charms for me." I replied with a smile.

"Great, make the diabetic eat healthy while you poison yourself with sugar." He said, sitting at the counter.

"Hey, it has whole grain and stuff in it too!" I protested.

"Speaking of diabetes: I'm almost out of insulin." He said again.

" 'kay, I'll go to the pharmacy and get some later." I replied.

Later came soon, and I left Cas with the neighbours and walked to the pharmacy, which I quickly regretted doing as I had to walk past Dean's house to get there. His little brother, Sam spotted me.

"Hey, Gabe!" he said, walking over to me.

"Hey Moosey! How's the weather up there?" I said looking up at the extremely tall boy who was a year younger than me, but we were in some of the same classes, as he was in the advanced program.

"Funny." He said, giving me what Dean calls his 'bitchface'. "You're not usually over here this early. Dean's shift isn't done yet, and where's Cas?"

"Uh, I'm just passing, I don't think I'll be over today." I said, "I'm just heading to the pharmacy."

Sam looked at me as if he was examining me.

"You look a little pale. Are you okay?" he asked.

I looked up at him and smiled as bright as I could, patting him on the chest and walking away.


	3. Always Darkest

Damn it's been long since we've updated this thing!

Anyway, after the awesome inspiration we got from each other, and a wonderful game of eenie meenie miney moe, we both decided that 'Sidestepping Shadows' needed the next update, and here it is….

Disclaimer: Kripke's toys, I just like pretending they're ours :p (Don't we all…)

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Chapter 3: Always darkest…

"Gabe, someone's here to see you!" Castiel shouted while I was in the kitchen making dinner.

I gave an exasperated sigh as I went to see who it was, only to find Dean Winchester standing in the living room.

"Sammy told me that something was wrong with you." He stated.

"Well as you can see, I'm perfectly fine, Dean." I replied, making a vague gesture over myself.

"Well I've been calling you and you're not even answering the phone." He said. "Is something going on?"

I looked down and he stepped closer to me. I tried to say something, but it was as if there was a hand around my throat.

"Uh, Michael's coming home in a few minutes and you know how he gets when we have visitors without permission." Cas said.

"Yeah, I guess I'd better go then…" Dean replied. "If you tell me what's going on…"

"I've been calling you for hours, Gabe. Something's definitely up with you."

I looked down as he stepped closer to me. I tried to answer him, but it was like something was around my throat, like a hand.

"I'm fine." I said, a little too shaky to even reassure myself, and I could see that Dean know I was lying.

I looked around, away from his face, to where Cas was standing, only to see that my little brother was gone.

"Listen," Dean began, "I know you have your… secrets, or whatever, but ya gotta let me in every once in a while if this thing between us is gonna work out Gabe."

I opened my mouth but closed it almost immediately as I saw Michael standing behind Dean with a dark look on his face. He chuckled as he saw me staring at him- _chuckled._

"Well, if it isn't Lawrence's biggest piece of trash." Michael sneered.

Dean's face hardened almost immediately, his lips drew into a thin line as he turned to look at my brother.

"Nice to see you too, Mikey." He retorted. "I was just leaving."

* * *

Michael smirked as he leaned against the doorframe. Dean left, a venomous stare at Michael the whole way through the door. Michael just stood there, blankly staring at me as I shook like a damn leaf.

"What's for dinner?" he asked, nonchalant.

"Pasta." I replied hastily.

"Great, get Castiel down here… he must be starving." He said again, going to sit around the dinner table.

I stood still, trying to level my breathing.

"Gabriel! Get Castiel to the fucking dinner table now!" he yelled, causing me to flinch and run up the stairs as fast as my legs could carry me.

Dinner was tense, silent. Michael kept staring at me, didn't even touch his food, and Cas was dozing off at the table.

"Castiel, go to bed before you get a face full of pasta!" Michael said, light-heartedly, deceivingly.

"But I'm not tired!" Cas protested, earning a glare from Michael and a mini stroke from me.

"Cas, go to bed…" Michael said again, irritated.

"But.." Cas started.

"Just go, Cassy, I'm fine…" I assured him, smiling a bit.

His blue eyes looked at me intensely; he was biting his bottom lip as if he was afraid to leave.

"Okay," he replied as he left for his room, giving me one last look as he went up the stairs.

As soon as Cas was out of sight, Michael grabbed me from across the table, purely animalistic and possessive.

"I should break your goddamn neck!" he growled at me.

His entire frame was shaking in anger, his teeth were bared and I could've sworn he was going to choke me to death.

"P-please," I started to plead, though I knew better, that talking without permission would only make it worse.

"What was he doing here?" he asked calmly, which scared me even more, his hand tightening around my neck.

"I don't know!" I whispered, literally feeling myself blacking out.

Then, all of a sudden, he let go. I fell off the chair as he sat back down like nothing happened. Then, he slammed a plate on the floor and I flinched as I heard it break into so many pieces.

"You're not leaving this house tomorrow." He said, getting up and leaving the room.


End file.
